What’s in Your Mother’s Day Heart?

Annah ElizabethHolidays & Celebrations, Loss, Grief, and Healing, Mental Health, ParentingLeave a Comment

Dearest Neighbor, if today–Mother’s Day–you are somehow feeling sad, mad, shame, depressed, deprived, or less than special, you are not alone. I feel you. I see you. I honor and salute you, all of you who carry a mother’s love in your heart, but may not be able to show or share it because something is standing between you and that nurturing. Two decades ago, as we were leaving the funeral for my son, Gavin Michael, my good friend said to me, “You’re a great mom, and he’s so lucky to have you.” It took me a few years to recognize that even though I didn’t have the opportunity to do the traditional “Mom” things, I was his mother in so many ways, ways that were merely (and vastly) different than what we humans expect or envision about Motherhood. In the years since, I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on my friend’s proclamation, and the terms Mom and Motherhood have taken on an entirely new depth for me.

A Mother’s Day Tragedy and a Birth-Death Day Celebration

Annah ElizabethFamily, Gavin, Loss, Grief, and Healing, Parenting2 Comments

Dear Neighbor, Twenty-eight years ago, a miracle happened when a child was born. When you think about everything that must occur prior to any birth, the precise nature of so many scientific details, every delivery is miraculous. When I began writing this post, I realized that twenty-eight years ago, at the exact same hour, I was timing and logging contractions … Read More

What Kind of Mother Has No Child?

Annah ElizabethChild Loss, Grief, Loss, Grief, and Healing, Parenting, The Five Facets of Healing ™6 Comments

Two of my cards are in the mail, the third is filled out and waiting for Warren to read. Radio stations are running contests while television commercials are packed with everything from flowers to chocolate to fine jewelry. Everyone wants us to remember our mothers, to pay tribute to women everywhere, females who know what that classroom is all about… … Read More

What Kind of Mother?

Annah ElizabethLeave a Comment

  Two a.m. Twenty-four years ago. One of the most equally exciting and excruciating times of my life began: Child labor. Some thirteen hours later, time that included sleep in spits and spurts, the timing and logging of contraction intensity and duration, a full breakfast, and a walk in the overcast, cold and drizzling day, my firstborn arrived into this … Read More

Motherhood and a Week of Wondrous Moments

Annah Elizabeth2 Comments

“The story of a mother’s life: Trapped between a scream and a hug.” ~Cathy Guisewite  Twenty-three years ago, today, I lay broken in a hospital bed. Forty-eight hours after giving birth to my firstborn. My room was filled with brightly colored flowers, symbols of celebration and sadness. I wailed when I opened the Mother’s Day card a friend sent … Read More

Trash, Twenty-Three Candles, Heavenly Hugs, and a Pizza

Annah ElizabethLeave a Comment

Today, we celebrated my eldest’s twenty-third birthday. For some reason, this one is the most dreamlike. Big Guy, Warren, and I sat in the hot tub last night, figuring out how we were going to shape Gavin’s special day. I’ve been listening all week to advertisements for our city’s annual, Downtown cleanup event. I’ve accompanied my children and swept many … Read More