What’s in Your Mother’s Day Heart?

Annah Elizabeth Holidays & Celebrations, Loss, Grief, and Healing, Mental Health, Parenting Leave a Comment

Two days after I gave birth to my firstborn, I received a Mother’s Day card, and I wept. What kind of mother has no child?

Several days later, as we were leaving the funeral for my son, Gavin Michael, my good friend said to me, “You’re a great mom, and he’s so lucky to have you.”

It took me a few years to recognize that even though I didn’t have the opportunity to do the traditional “Mom” things, I was his mother in so many ways, ways that were merely (and vastly) different than what we humans expect or envision about Motherhood.

In the past two-plus decades, I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on my friend’s proclamation, and the terms Mom and Motherhood have taken on an entirely new depth for me.

What’s in YOUR Mother’s Day heart, Neighbor?

In the hours, weeks, and months leading up to Mothers’ Days across the globe, marketing and media streams are filled with all Celebrate Mom things–commercials, articles, and images encouraging gratitude, love, and reflections on how we were nurtured.

Bereavement based outlets are filled with all things Missing Mom, heartfelt longing from those young and adult children whose mother’s have died.

While other grief related sites are chock-full of compassion for Moms Missing their Moppets…mothers whose children have died.

Those categories cover a larger class of people than any of us might want to imagine, yet there are so, so many more people, “Moms,” who need to be remembered and recognized, too…

If you, Neighbor, on Mother’s Day, are somehow feeling sad, mad, shame, depressed, deprived, less than special, or [insert your whatever]–regardless of the circumstance(s) leading to your conflict or sorrow–please know you are not alone.

I feel you. I see you. I honor and salute you, all of you who carry a mother’s love in your heart, but may not be able to show or share it because something is standing between you and that nurturing.

You are a mother of many things and in so many ways. You are worthy. You are loved. You are wanted. You are needed. You deserve to live your best life and to celebrate You, Neighbor.

If any of these Mothering circumstances apply to you, You are a Mother and I celebrate and salute YOU, too.

You, who have dreamt of being a mom, but for whatever reason, those dreams have not materialized…

I feel your Mother’s heart. I see you and I salute YOU today and always…

You, who is beating your not-a-super-hero-mom-self up because you are feeling fatigued, overworked and under-appreciated…

I feel your Mother’s heart. I see you and I salute YOU today and always…

You, who feels like a “bad” mom because you’re frustrated or angry at your children for not finishing their chores, today of all days…

I feel your Mother’s heart. I see you and I salute YOU today and always…

You, who is feeling ungrateful because you don’t know what to do with yet another Special Mom Mug or all you really want for Mother’s Day is a day to yourself…

I feel your Mother’s heart. I see you and I salute YOU today and always…

You, the single-parent mom, who feels like she hasn’t done enough because there simply isn’t enough of You to go around…

I feel your Mother’s heart. I see you and I salute YOU today and always…

You, the male-mom-figures, who nurture the souls and bodies of your children every day, often without recognition for your contributions…

I feel your Mother’s heart. I see you and I salute YOU today and always…

You, the sick mom who fears she won’t live long enough to witness and celebrate your child’s next success, the mom is who is forced to worry about who will mother your child(ren) when you die…

I feel your Mother’s heart. I see you and I salute YOU today and always…

You, the sick mom who, no matter how much you’d like to get out of bed and do something with your child(ren) today, you don’t have the energy…

I feel your Mother’s heart. I see you and I salute YOU today and always…

You, the mother who, for whatever reason has a difficult relationship with your child(ren) and longs for easier associations with them…

I feel your Mother’s heart. I see you and I salute YOU today and always…

You, the mom who is feeling guilty for working too much and not spending as much time as you’d like with your little one(s)…

I feel your Mother’s heart. I see you and I salute YOU today and always…

You, who is (or has) yourself or knows another who is (or has) experiencing a Mother’s Day conflict, angst, or grief not mentioned above, please leave a comment and salute the humans who need to know they truly are not alone.

Until next time, yours in hope, healing, and happiness,

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