Grieving or overwhelmed? Navigate the holidays like a boss with these 5 major strategies.
Dearest Neighbor, if today–Mother’s Day–you are somehow feeling sad, mad, shame, depressed, deprived, or less than special, you are not alone. I feel you. I see you. I honor and salute you, all of you who carry a mother’s love in your heart, but may not be able to show or share it because something is standing between you and that nurturing. Two decades ago, as we were leaving the funeral for my son, Gavin Michael, my good friend said to me, “You’re a great mom, and he’s so lucky to have you.” It took me a few years to recognize that even though I didn’t have the opportunity to do the traditional “Mom” things, I was his mother in so many ways, ways that were merely (and vastly) different than what we humans expect or envision about Motherhood. In the years since, I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on my friend’s proclamation, and the terms Mom and Motherhood have taken on an entirely new depth for me.
Dear Neighbor, Twenty-eight years ago, a miracle happened when a child was born. When you think about everything that must occur prior to any birth, the precise nature of so many scientific details, every delivery is miraculous. When I began writing this post, I realized that twenty-eight years ago, at the exact same hour, I was timing and logging contractions … Read More
Dear Neighbor, Thank you for this question and your courage to heal your heartaches big and small so you can go on to live your dream life, the one YOU SO TOTALLY DESERVE, by unearthing your Future You. Understanding that we cannot return to the past and to some “Old Me” can certainly be frustrating. I well remember the angst … Read More
“Your doctor called you lucky after your son died?” You asked? He sure did, Neighbor…and here’s what I later gleened from that experience… …………… “You’re lucky we were able to do a bikini cut,” my obstetrician said to me during my six-week checkup. Lucky? I sat across from this man who had come to know my body—well, certain parts like … Read More
Dearest Neighbor, Oh, how I relate to your current struggle and remember well feeling like I was the only person on the planet who wasn’t “getting it.” “I just can’t relate to my friends, my family, or my therapist because what they are saying just doesn’t make sense to me. Am I a lost cause?” Let me assure you that … Read More
Dearest Neighbor, A question of the ages, spoken by nearly every human that ever walked this earth. Though the query has been asked in countless ways, they all boil down to one ultimate question: “How do we quantify love?” “How can I possibly love another as much as I did my first?” Parents ponder this when thinking about or expecting … Read More
Dear Neighbor, Oh, let me count the ways I understand your question. How do I move forward when the past keeps repeating itself? This question is deep and complex and covers so many areas of our lives and across each of our five facets. When it seems as if life keeps dealing you one blow after another, it can feel … Read More
Dear Neighbor, I hear you. I feel your pain. I understand how crazy making it is to feel like you are walking in circles or to be utterly, hopelessly lost in the middle of nowhere. I live on a two-hundred-acre parcel of land, complete with hills, valleys, and thick forests. My husband is an avid outdoors-man and can tell you … Read More
Dearest Neighbor, I feel your pain and I am so very sorry for your losses. “How can I fix my grief pain,” you ask? I wish there was one simple answer I could give you, some magic wand I can wave to make the hurt all go away, but since I wasn’t born with those gifts, I’ll be happy to … Read More