What’s in Your Mother’s Day Heart?

Annah Elizabeth Holidays & Celebrations, Loss, Grief, and Healing, Mental Health, Parenting Leave a Comment

Dearest Neighbor, if today–Mother’s Day–you are somehow feeling sad, mad, shame, depressed, deprived, or less than special, you are not alone. I feel you. I see you. I honor and salute you, all of you who carry a mother’s love in your heart, but may not be able to show or share it because something is standing between you and that nurturing. Two decades ago, as we were leaving the funeral for my son, Gavin Michael, my good friend said to me, “You’re a great mom, and he’s so lucky to have you.” It took me a few years to recognize that even though I didn’t have the opportunity to do the traditional “Mom” things, I was his mother in so many ways, ways that were merely (and vastly) different than what we humans expect or envision about Motherhood. In the years since, I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on my friend’s proclamation, and the terms Mom and Motherhood have taken on an entirely new depth for me.

Did Your Resolution Love You As Much As You Loved It?

Annah Elizabeth Happiness, Loss, Grief, and Healing, The Five Facets Philosophy on Healing ™ Leave a Comment

Maybe you spent months dreaming up a plan that was sure to take you to new heights or maybe you thought the exciting energy surrounding the trending new diet, exercise or self-help regimen sounded like the next best thing for you, too. Now, for whatever reason, your in-it-to-win-it spirit has turned into God-how-I-hate-this-I-just-might-puke-if…or a You-suck-you-quitter/loser/faker/despicable/[insert your whatever]-You.

Regardless of how you came to setting your resolution, it is obvious that this is more than a little slump; it is just not working for you. In fact, it could be all wrong for you. A few simple questions will help you isolate where the breakdown(s) might be and help you redirect.

A Mother’s Day Tragedy and a Birth-Death Day Celebration

Annah Elizabeth Family, Gavin, Loss, Grief, and Healing, Parenting Leave a Comment

Dear Neighbor, Twenty-eight years ago, a miracle happened when a child was born. When you think about everything that must occur prior to any birth, the precise nature of so many scientific details, every delivery is miraculous. When I began writing this post, I realized that twenty-eight years ago, at the exact same hour, I was timing and logging contractions …

Ask Annah: How Can I Fix My Grief Pain?

Annah Elizabeth Ask Annah, Loss, Grief, and Healing, Mental Health 2 Comments

Dearest Neighbor, I feel your pain and I am so very sorry for your losses. “How can I fix my grief pain,” you ask? I wish there was one simple answer I could give you, some magic wand I can wave to make the hurt all go away, but since I wasn’t born with those gifts, I’ll be happy to …

Ask Annah: Can I Say Screw You to the New-Year-New-You Resolutions Hype?

Annah Elizabeth Ask Annah, Loss, Grief, and Healing, Mental Health Leave a Comment

Dearest Journeyer, Your inbox is filled with NEW-YEAR-NEW YOU invites to every type of inspirational class and program known to man. Your friends are breaking out words for the year of 2018: TRUST! FLOURISH! REFLECT! DRIVE! DANCE! People are posting vision boards and nearly shouting how they are signing up for weight loss programs, writing classes, and locking in one-year …

Ask Annah: Why Do I Feel Worse 2-3 Years after My Significant Life Loss Event

Annah Elizabeth Ask Annah, Loss, Grief, and Healing, Mental Health 2 Comments

Dear Journeyer, I am often asked some variation of this question: “It’s been three years since my child/parent/sibling/spouse/best friend died and I feel worse now than I did when it happened. What is wrong with me?” Though this query often references the death of a person, I have also heard it with regard to other forms of loss, including but …

HOLY MATRIMONY!

Annah Elizabeth Leave a Comment

  Holy cow! Holy cold! Holy hail! Holy hell! Holy shit! HOLY MATRIMONY! I am tired, Journeyers. Tired of revisiting the Same. Old. Arguments. Tired of fighting…to be heard…understood…validated… Tired of fighting to end the madnesses that are the foundations for relationship strife… Tired of fighting for all of us, my family, especially when I often feel like I’m the …

It’s Not Personal

Annah Elizabeth 7 Comments

I absolutely love the late Patrick Swayze. Gentleman. Genuine. Gorgeous. What’s not to love, right? I don’t know about you, but I’ll always remember this talented man who left this life way too early. Though there are many lines and scenes he lived out on the big screen, one that I frequently recall is the Roadhouse dialogue: “It’s nothing personal.” …

Addressing Attachment Injury

Annah Elizabeth Leave a Comment

“I’ve been thinking about you two,” Trish said, “and about how I can best help.” The last time Warren and I were in this therapist’s office, we had some heated discussions about The Future—Ours, His, Mine—The House, Retirement, The Economy, The Funds (now and forthcoming). He, who has lived in the same community—within a ten-mile radius—his entire life, is not …