I had an epiphany while showering this morning. The good kind of awakening, one that softens our grief and helps pave the way to peace and acceptance. As the spray washed over me I thought about a conversation Warren and I had earlier this week. How I despise doing things twice. Again, came to mind, followed by a series of … Read More
On Saying Goodbye
Journeyers, this week has been equally frustrating and exhilarating. Exhausting because of this little reality called work and duty and credit card payments and business. Exhilarating because, for the past three days, my mind has been a constant flutter of thoughts. My head has been teeming with ideas and inspiration that I can’t wait to share. My notions most always come to … Read More
What’s in a Miracle?
Photo via Sharlie’s Angels Miracle is such a tough word for those of us who have faced destruction and devastation. The miraculous is usually attributed to some variation of God’s Will, Plan, or Divine Intervention. In the wake of Gavin’s death and Warren’s subsequent affair, I hoped for a miracle of my own. Not your typical pleas for health, wealth, … Read More
On Overcoming Loss and Suffering
The holidays can be an especially difficult time for those who are coping with a past loss or are reeling with fresh grief. My heart is heavy for all whose sadness is raw right now.And, yet, the knowledge that we all have the ability to achieve healing lifts me up.I hope this message brings some form of comfort to you, or … Read More
The Space Between Luck and Misfortune
Well, fellow Journeyers, I’ve done it! After more hours than I wish to recognize, I have finally pieced together my first video. The idea came to me when I discovered Washington, DC’s TEDxWomen and their theme for this year’s conference. The Space Between… I immediately thought of my piece Finding Four-Leaf-Clover-Kind-of-Luck in Shit. And The Space Between Luck and Misfortunewas … Read More
Children Face Life’s Irony, Paradox, and Tragedy
I am the type of person who ranks honesty as one of my top values. I’m the type of person who doesn’t pussyfoot around any subject, even those like vaginas, penes, and death. I’ve tried to parent the same way, being open, honest, and answering my children’s questions as age-appropriately as I could. I’ve been direct in letting them know … Read More
Digging for the Light, Excerpt 1
My last post was about hummingbirds and was included in the Happy Happenssegment of this blog.The following excerpt relates to the day after my Gavin’s first birthday, my second Mother’s Day. * * * The date was Sunday, May 12, 1991. Mother’s Day. I spent that day, the one that should have been my second Mother’s Day, weeping.Over a … Read More
Don’t Be Afraid, I Want to Say; You Have Neighbors in Grief and Allies in Healing
Moonlit oceanon the eve of a storm “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.” I recently stumbled across this Frederick Buechner quote. So poetic. So poignant. So precise in the way it captures life’s essence. In the last three days, I’ve encountered numerous stories with both those elements. Here is the … Read More
Every Day a New Story Begins, Part I, Sudden Death
“Every day a new story does begin, doesn’t it?” The shop owner said as he rung up my purchase. “Sometimes it doesn’t even take a day,” I replied. “Every second a new story begins.” I learned this lesson twenty-two years ago. In the labor and delivery room. When I saw the fleeting look of panic in the nurse’s eyes. When … Read More
When Life Sucks…
A person who is lamenting the detachment and isolation of his son just said to me, “It’s okay.” I’ll never forget when I spoke those same words to one of my customers, in the early months after my son died. “It’s okay,” I’d say to people, who would usually say some variation of, “Yes, it’s going to be okay,” or … Read More