Why am I here? That is one of the greatest existential questions of all time, Neighbor.
No doubt you have heard many of the buzzwords like life purpose, soul mission, and destiny, to name a few.
And no doubt you have tried countless courses and methodologies to help you figure out what all this means to you. Like me, maybe some of those informational segues have resonated with you and you have applied them in measurable or meaningful ways.
And, maybe like me, there is something that is holding you back from fully stepping forward into the life that is beckoning you from the sidelines. You stay there in that comfy, yet not so comfy place, waiting for something to light a spark within or, maybe give you a swift kick in the you-know-where.
Moving from the shadows of doubt into the light of self love is a part of our greatness
When my now-ex and I separated four years ago, I finally had to face the fear that had been gnawing at my insides for decades. Despite being successful in nearly everything I did, I always wondered–okay, maybe even doubted–that I could be successful on my own. The day my then-spouse threw many of his belongings into the back of his van and left in a huff, I made the decision to learn as much about myself as I could possibly learn.
Out of his shadow, I began to realize just how invisible I had allowed myself to become.
I realized how much I had become dependent on him for the sake of keeping the peace.
I realized the bottomless pit of helplessness I had come to feel, all the while not being able to recognize how dependent I had allowed myself to become.
Three years ago, another incident, one that I would quickly discover involved parental alienation of epic proportions, literally shook the foundation of every academic, emotional, physical, social, and spiritual facet of my Self. There was literally no part of my life that was not grossly impacted by what transpired.
Just when all of the work I was doing to bring hope and healing to the masses was branching out, I found myself shrinking inward in ways I had not felt since I discovered his second affair in 2006.
Behind every success story are strangers who have no idea they helped you heal and step into greatness
Shook to the core, there was one thing I knew for sure: If I stayed where I was, my soul was going to die. I made the decision to go somewhere to heal and I immersed myself in books, interviews, and podcasts on countless topics.
Katherine Schwarzenegger-Pratt’s, The Gift of Forgiveness. I read the book and listened to the podcast. Her question, “Do you think forgiveness is a one-off” helped me heal self doubt in ways I never imagined. Elizabeth Smart’s My Story. Gary Sinise’s Grateful American. The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. The Struggle is Real by Nicole Unice. The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. Friend and Foe by Adam D Galinsky. A Dark Night in Aurora by William H. Reid. Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa Terkeurst. The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach…. The Bhagavad Gita. The hilarious, Clanlands journey by Sam Heughan and Graham McTavish; and the darker humor in When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris. These are but a handful of the stories and research I devoured.
How-to-heal discussions on healthy relationships, narcissistic abuse, self blame and shame and self love…
Two of the discussion channels that I went to over and over were Lisa Bilyeu’s Women of Impact and Lewis Howes’ The School of Greatness. What I love most about these two is that they cover a broad range of topics from health and wellness to relationships to money, and everything in between. Basically, their work serves your entire Five Facets! Not only that, they are truly authentic Humans who have turned their struggles into success and are changing the world, one topic and one inspiring story at a time.
My healing journey led me to the discovery that I had forsaken my sacred self for my sacred vows and helped me come back to loving my Self. Through all of this, though, I was hesitant to step back out into the work I am called to do. A part of me feared being judged, for walking away from my business, for being a divorcee, for staying in a marriage that involved multiple affairs, to not realizing what may well have been happening right under my very nose…
I had the good sense and good fortune to attend one of Lewis’ discussions on the value of mindset and overcoming self doubt. One piece that resonated strongly is his belief that the lack of a clear, “Meaningful Mission,” is one of the biggest culprits that holds us back from stepping into our own version of greatness. “Fuzzy targets gets fuzzy results,” Lewis says.
Lewis talks about how he went from being aimless following a career-ending sports injury, and from sleeping on his sister’s sofa to creating and building one of the most recognized lifestyle and wellness channels today. His own meaningul mission about impacting one million lives weekly reminded me of an initiative I tried to create a few years ago and was just what I needed to create clarity around what I want to achieve.
Inside the making of your greatness mindset
In his newest book, The Greatness Mindset: Unlock the Power of Your Mind and Live Your Best Life Today, Lewis draws from his extensive interview library anc combines the stellar, yet ever so simple, secrets and strategies that some of the most successful people in the world use to make their dreams come alive and turn their goals into reality.
Weaving together his own journeys through loss and his search for healing, Lewis melds what he learned into an insightful, impactful, and concise read that is both easy to follow and relatable!
I am honored to be a small part of his launch team and to share with you a few sneak peeks at what awaits you when you order your own copy, Neighbor. In Chapter One of the launch team draft, Lewis writes:
One reason many people struggle is that they feel their identity is tied to the results they achieve. Maybe that’s you. I’ve certainly been there, done that. The old adage in golf is that you’re only as good as your next shot, but that mindset can leave you feeling pretty unfulfilled, as if you could never quite do or be enough.
One of the hardest things to break free from is a “good but not great” life. I hear it so often from people who make what most would consider good money and have what seems to be a good career with kids and family—but they still have an underlying sense of pain or unfulfillment. There’s an ache for something more.
Does that resonate with you? (Lewis 3)
He later says, The Greatness Mindset begins to take shape when you begin the journey to heal the pain and trauma in your past. Until you do that, you may often find yourself at the mercy of past pain without ever realizing how or why. (Lewis 9-10)
Healing pain and trauma is a part of your journey to greatness!
Chapter One is all about Chasing Greatness. Chapter Two is all about The Greatness Alternative. And Chapter Three? Well, Neighbor…that is all about The Enemy of Greatness…
I am ready to see our greatness come alive! If you have been with me for a while, you know what I say, “Together, Neighbor, together we are helping heal worlds of hurt.” That togetherness, that unity is all a part of what Lewis defines as greatness. And as he has said numerous times:
“The world doesn’t just deserve to see your gifts, your talents, and your dreams. The world might very well NEED to see them right now.” ~ Lewis Howes
I cannot wait to see what greatness you create!!!
I see you. I feel you. I believe in you, Neighbor!
Love and light,
Disclaimer: I am not associated with Lewis Howes or The School of Greatness and I received no compensation for this post. I am sharing because I fully believe in what Lewis and his team are doing.