On Overcoming Loss and Suffering

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  The holidays can be an especially difficult time for those who are coping with a past loss or are reeling with fresh grief.   My heart is heavy for all whose sadness is raw right now.And, yet, the knowledge that we all have the ability to achieve healing lifts me up.I hope this message brings some form of comfort to you, or …

All I Want for Christmas Is…

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How would you fill in the blank?All I want for Christmas is_______. “All I need is my son back.”    These words from a man whose son died last week. The day after he came home from surgery to repair a birth defect in his heart. The day after he turned twenty-one-years old. A short time after his brother …

Every Day a New Story Begins, Part II: Senseless and a Digging for the Light Excerpt

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“It’s senseless,” she said, before they parted ways. Two women were talking about the unexpected death of a mutual friend. She was sixty-three years old. A mother. Grandmother. Wife. Friend. Vibrant and working one day. Gone the next. Poof! A new story begins. One where the person’s stories will now be spun by those who love her. Those who are …

Digging for the Light, Excerpt 1

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My last post was about hummingbirds and was included in the Happy Happenssegment of this blog.The following excerpt relates to the day after my Gavin’s first birthday, my second Mother’s Day. * * *   The date was Sunday, May 12, 1991. Mother’s Day. I spent that day, the one that should have been my second Mother’s Day, weeping.Over a …

Don’t Be Afraid, I Want to Say; You Have Neighbors in Grief and Allies in Healing

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Moonlit oceanon the eve of a storm     “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”   I recently stumbled across this Frederick Buechner quote. So poetic. So poignant. So precise in the way it captures life’s essence. In the last three days, I’ve encountered numerous stories with both those elements. Here is the …

Every Day a New Story Begins, Part I, Sudden Death

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“Every day a new story does begin, doesn’t it?” The shop owner said as he rung up my purchase. “Sometimes it doesn’t even take a day,” I replied. “Every second a new story begins.” I learned this lesson twenty-two years ago. In the labor and delivery room. When I saw the fleeting look of panic in the nurse’s eyes. When …

A Bittersweet Birthday

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Last month I received a Save the Date notice from a friend whose son was born exactly one week before Gavin. I couldn’t help but smile at how rugged and manly this young man has become. How handsome he was standing next to his glowing bride-to-be. And then, a fleeting sadness passed over me. Ha… Each thought of Gavin’s birthday—today—has …

I Don’t Want to be Branded by My Husband’s Affair, or Limited by the Past

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In January, I discovered I’d been living in the past. And recently I uncovered yet another layer to this existence. My past, so to speak, the timeline upon which I base my present life, seems to begin and end five-and-a-half years ago. September 1, 2006. The day I stumbled upon my husband’s second affair. And frankly, I am a bit …

On Grief

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Every hour, across the globe, stories of loss are headlined in newspapers, on radio and television. Each story, however, is both intricately and simply personal. As these stories unfold before the public eye, the griever is entering Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ 5 Stages of Grief, a complex web of emotion and thought. And though grief is a natural and essential part of …

Summer Warmth

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I climbed out of bed at eight this morning and headed straight for the kitchen. Four hours later, I had finally finished cleaning up after preparing several gallons of bottled lemonade, tea, and water; making two pounds of macaroni salad; two dozen deviled eggs; cutting up an enormous, juicy watermelon; assembling paper products, condiments, table coverings; and gathering an assortment …