Dear Neighbor, Twenty-eight years ago, a miracle happened when a child was born. When you think about everything that must occur prior to any birth, the precise nature of so many scientific details, every delivery is miraculous. When I began writing this post, I realized that twenty-eight years ago, at the exact same hour, I was timing and logging contractions … Read More
Ask Annah: Am I a Lost Cause?
Dearest Neighbor, Oh, how I relate to your current struggle and remember well feeling like I was the only person on the planet who wasn’t “getting it.” “I just can’t relate to my friends, my family, or my therapist because what they are saying just doesn’t make sense to me. Am I a lost cause?” Let me assure you that … Read More
Ask Annah: I’m Afraid My Deceased Loved One Will Be Forgotten. How Do I Prevent That?
Dearest Neighbor, This is one of the greatest fears The Living have following the death of a loved one, especially an unexpected or “untimely” death. Widows and Widowers. Loss Mamas, Papas, and Siblings. “Orphaned” children. [Insert your whatever.] We lament what will never be. “Lost time.” Things that “should be” but never will be. We have this sense of how … Read More
Ask Annah: Does Grief Last Forever?
Dearest Neighbor, First, I’m sorry for your loss and your heartache. Please know that, though it might sometimes feel like you are all alone, you have a world of support to help you in your grief and beyond. Will your grief last forever? It doesn’t have to, Journeyer, but it all depends on you. In the 5 Steps of Healing, … Read More
Ask Annah: What Can I Do With All This Survivor’s Guilt?
Dearest Neighbor, First, let me to tell you how sorry I am for your losses, for not only are you facing the death of someone you care about, you may also be experiencing other losses like the loss of emotional security, loss of dreams and hopes, and loss of companionship, to name a few. Survivor’s guilt stems from so many … Read More
Ask Annah: Why Do Friendships Change After a Significant Loss?
“Friendships are discovered rather than made.” ~ Harriett Beecher Stowe Dear Journeyer, “Why do friendships change after a significant loss?” is a question and conversation I hear regularly from people of all ages and across all loss forms. If you have discovered that your relationships with friends or family feel strange or estranged since a Significant Life Loss Event entered … Read More
Ask Annah: Why Do I Feel Worse 2-3 Years after My Significant Life Loss Event
Dear Journeyer, I am often asked some variation of this question: “It’s been three years since my child/parent/sibling/spouse/best friend died and I feel worse now than I did when it happened. What is wrong with me?” Though this query often references the death of a person, I have also heard it with regard to other forms of loss, including but … Read More
What Kind of Mother Has No Child 2016
Dear Journeyer, On May 8, 2015, I wrote this letter to you. I’m re-sharing it now, with a few time-related updates, because I feel it bears repeating again and again, year after year, until it has reached every single woman who has ever experienced the physical death of a child or the death of her Motherhood dream. Please share it with … Read More
Memories, Mandalas, and a Medium
Happy Sunday, Journeyer! Last week sort of passed by in a blip! Warren returned from a six day trip around midnight on Wednesday and then I had to have him back at the airport at the crack of dawn on Friday. Though his absence means I am able to devote my attentions strictly to whatever projects I need to work … Read More
Dear Journeyer, Today is a special day on so, so many levels! Most of you know it simply as Mother’s Day. But for some of us, it is so much more… …a more that is equally complicated, courageous, saddening, maddening, underwhelming and overwhelming… Though I’m not surprised, I hadn’t expected the outpouring of sharing that began after The Grief Toolbox … Read More