Dearest Neighbor, Social Media Highlight Reels. Glitz. Glamour. Got-it-all-together goodness. Do these qualities exist? Sure. Do they exist all the time? For anyone? Not on your life. Comparison is one of our greatest life hurdles, which affords it a front row seat in The Five Facets Philosophy on Healing programs. This question came to me leading up to the holiday season and … Read More
Ask Annah: Can I Say Screw You to the New-Year-New-You Resolutions Hype?
Dearest Journeyer, Your inbox is filled with NEW-YEAR-NEW YOU invites to every type of inspirational class and program known to man. Your friends are breaking out words for the year of 2018: TRUST! FLOURISH! REFLECT! DRIVE! DANCE! People are posting vision boards and nearly shouting how they are signing up for weight loss programs, writing classes, and locking in one-year … Read More
Ask Annah: How Do I Apologize When So Much Time has Passed?
Dearest Neighbor, One of the number one stresses, concerns, and fears surrounding holidays and other celebratory events has to do with relationships. Think about all the jokes you’ve heard and possibly made about those crazy family get-togethers, the family tension, or worries about Who is going to say What. Some of the most common culprits of family rifts are miscommunication, … Read More
Ask Annah: What Could I Have Done to Prevent or Change the Course of My Loss Event?
“What could I have done differently,” “What did I miss,” and “Where did I go wrong,” “Could I have prevented this from happening,” are common questions in loss. I asked each of the questions following my Gavin’s death, again after each of the two miscarriages, and yet again after I discovered my husband and my best friend having an affair. … Read More
Ask Annah: I’m Not the Same Since My Loss. How Do I Get Back to “The Old Me?”
Dearest Neighbor, “How do I get The Old Me back?” is a question I hear in many scenarios but most often when one of our fellow journeyers has faced a significant life loss. “My loss has changed me” and “I’ll never be the same again” are two common comments people make following a tragic or chaotic life event. What happens … Read More
Ask Annah: How Can I be Grateful in the Midst of So Much Pain?
Dearest Neighbor, November 1st always arrives with a flourish of “gratitude” memes and requests for you to participate in all sorts of activities and posts throughout the month. This daily practice can be downright grueling, disheartening, and un-empowering when you are in the doldrums or in a state of despair. I recall feeling inadequate during my grief periods following my … Read More
Ask Annah: Why Do Friendships Change After a Significant Loss?
“Friendships are discovered rather than made.” ~ Harriett Beecher Stowe Dear Journeyer, “Why do friendships change after a significant loss?” is a question and conversation I hear regularly from people of all ages and across all loss forms. If you have discovered that your relationships with friends or family feel strange or estranged since a Significant Life Loss Event entered … Read More
Ask Annah: How Do You Know if You’ve Officially Let Go?
Dear Journeyer, “How do you know if you’ve officially let go?” asks one of our neighbors. What a beautiful question. There really is no one right or wrong answer. The simplest answer is that you just know. You feel a sense of peace or resolution from your belly to your bones. Sometimes the heavens open, the angels sing, the doves … Read More
Ask Annah: Why Do I Feel Worse 2-3 Years after My Significant Life Loss Event
Dear Journeyer, I am often asked some variation of this question: “It’s been three years since my child/parent/sibling/spouse/best friend died and I feel worse now than I did when it happened. What is wrong with me?” Though this query often references the death of a person, I have also heard it with regard to other forms of loss, including but … Read More
The Reason Grief Feels Eternal
Even though it’s been twenty-seven years since my firstborn’s arrival into this world, I remember how eternal those weeks following his birth were. Like many moms do, I swayed in the rocker at the foot of the crib we’d so lovingly adorned the nursery with. I twisted the dial on the bed chamber’s musical mobile and awaited its soothing melodies. I … Read More
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