Dear Journeyer, Many people enter a state of disbelief when they learn that I am still married to the man who had two affairs following our wedding vows. And while some just can’t seem to wrap their brains around it, others have appeared flustered or fustrated, while one person wrote a scathing comment that basically described me as the reason … Read More
Ask Annah: Why Do I Feel Worse 2-3 Years after My Significant Life Loss Event
Dear Journeyer, I am often asked some variation of this question: “It’s been three years since my child/parent/sibling/spouse/best friend died and I feel worse now than I did when it happened. What is wrong with me?” Though this query often references the death of a person, I have also heard it with regard to other forms of loss, including but … Read More
Recycling Hope and Miracle
Last month I reunited with Miracle. I’ve spent many years pushing against her, resisting the mere mention of her name. Turns out I had been seeing her all wrong. You see, Miracle isn’t about some prize granted to a select few, Miracle is what happens when we bear witness to life’s marvelous events and amazing qualities. Miracle is what happens … Read More
I Could Use a Friend (or seven) Right About Now
Journeyers, I need you right now. A couple of weeks ago, something inside of me broke. And instead of trying to fix it, I buried it. I went on weekend trips with Warren and pretended to myself and him and the world around us that we were happy. That I was happy holding his hand and standing by his side. … Read More
I Have a Confession, and a Secret Stash
Journeyers, I have a confession. After Warren’s last affair I began piling away a secret stash. Cold hard cash that no one knows about but me. No one. Well, I guess given that declaration, no one but all of you, my fellow Journeyers… I can thank my lucky stone that there aren’t too many of you, huh? I hid it … Read More
The Rearview Mirror
View from My Rearview Mirror “You’ve got to quit looking in the rearview mirror.”Last June, when I was feeling overwhelmed by the Hamster-Wheel month and a little depression, I had my first appointment with The Therapist. I told her I needed to work on figuring out the cause of the ongoing anger and conflict I seemed to have regarding my … Read More
Staying Married After a Second Affair
Last night I wrote this post, which was inspired by a piece about Bill Clinton’s sixty-sixth birthday. That article questioned if the former president could have known, the day he met then-President JFK, that he would someday succeed the great man. That question spawned another musing for me: Did it ever dawn on Bill that he might someday have a … Read More
Bill Clinton and the Evolution of a Marriage that Transcends Infidelity
Stylelistran this piecein honor of Bill Clinton’s sixty-sixth birthday, this past Sunday. The article questions if the seventeen-year-old Clinton knew he would someday follow in the footsteps of JFK, when he met him at the White House in 1963. And according to his memoir, My Life, Clinton does state he knew he was destined to a life in politics by … Read More
Facing My Fears, Pema Chodron Style
“You focus on another person’s suffering and breathe it in,” a friend of mine told me about a Tonglen meditation group she recently participated in, “and then you breathe out compassion.” Her group’s attention had been directed to the victims, families, and friends of those affected by the recent Aurora, Colorado shooting rampage. I couldn’t comprehend this model from the purpose … Read More
Thankfully, Life Isn’t Static
Across the road from where I sit, the street light flickers on and off, as it has been since our arrival three days ago. “Dumbledore’s there,” I joked, “watching over us.” I am at the beach. On vacation. With family and some close friends. On Thursday, my friend and I treated ourselves to manicures and pedicures before beginning the process … Read More